Over the course of their lives, our children will spend more time with their friends than they will with us. Thus, as parents seeking to raise children who fear the Lord, it is vital that we help them learn how to develop godly friendships. Friendships are built into our makeup as humans. When God created man, he observed in Genesis 2:18 that it was not good for man to be alone. So God created a helper fit for him. In this, God gave to man his closest companion and friend, his spouse. This principle also reveals that human relationships are vital for our well-being. Man needs friends.

Throughout Scripture, we observe the importance of friendship. Moses did not lead the children of Israel alone. Very quickly into his leadership, Moses developed a friendship with Joshua. Together, they led the children of Israel through the wilderness. And when Moses died, Joshua took up the reins. When we think of biblical friendships, we most likely immediately think of David and Jonathan. These two men encouraged each other in their walk with God, in life’s situations, and in their mental health. A significant reason for David’s success was Jonathan’s friendship. We might also think of Daniel, Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego. On multiple occasions, when faced with the temptation to disobey God, these four men encouraged one another to stand firm in their faith. Godly men are helped by godly friends.

Yet many parents seem to do all they can to either keep their children from making friends or encourage them to be with bad friends. Some isolate their children so that they have no real friendships. The only people they truly interact with are family members. While the parents seem to believe that this isolation is protecting their children, they are setting them up for danger, as they never learn how to develop and maintain godly friendships. Others send their children out into the world and encourage them to befriend wicked children. They then inexplicably seem shocked when these wicked companions corrupt their children. Instead, we should disciple our children by helping them develop godly friends.

As I look back over my life, I am thankful for the situations my parents put me in that helped me develop godly friendships. This began in the church. My best friend from childhood (and remains to this day), Jono Scott, was developed in Cubbies, Sunday school, Sparks, birthday parties, and time at church. Over and over, our parents placed us into positions to interact with one another. Later, I developed lasting friendships through band, sports, and a youth group. When godly young people came across my path, my parents would create opportunities and encourage interaction. They did not isolate me. But they did insulate me. When young people came into our orbit that would corrupt my character, my parents would have frank, honest conversations with me. All this resulted in an ability to discern godly people and develop godly friendships. When I left for college, I developed friendships with individuals who still encourage me today. Through the years, I have gained several good friendships (including my best friend Heather and my non-spouse best friend Adam). All due to my parents’ intentional actions to disciple me in the art of friendship.

We can quickly identify people who are not from Michigan (I raise my hand as one of them). Certain tells give them away. The way they pronounce Ypsilanti, Mackinac, Charlotte, and elementary. They don’t appreciate Vernors as a heal-all beverage. And they certainly don’t understand what cold really means. When you grow up here, you are impacted by the culture around you. Yet, as we raise our children, we must come to understand that there are many shaping influences around them. Biblical parents seek to use these shaping influences to help produce wise children who fear the Lord (Proverbs 13:20).

There are a variety of shaping influences in a child’s life. Some you can control, and others you cannot. Family structure plays an important role in a child’s life. Studies have shown that children who grow up without a father are exponentially more likely to end up in the criminal justice system. How parents treat one another influences how children will treat their own spouse one day. Only children naturally struggle to serve others and to interact selflessly.

Family values also play a role. Children tend to grow up loving what their parents love. It is no mystery why sports fans raise sports fans, hunters raise hunters, mechanics raise mechanics, and musicians raise musicians. In the same way, parents who are passionate about God should impact their children for God. Parents who view church as an appendage to their life should not be surprised when their children do not value God.

Authorities’ response to failure is to inform their children how to respond to failure. When a parent fails and seeks handouts in return, the child will, too. When a parent quits and gives up, so will the child. When a parent acknowledges failure and moves forward, children tend to become hardworking problem solvers as well. Your children are watching your response to hardship.

Culture and friends also shape your children. As I stated before, certain things will happen in your children’s lives because they were raised in the Northern Midwest. Friends will impact your children for good or ill. This is a topic we will cover in detail next week. Right now, I will say, pay close attention to your children’s friends.

As parents consider the shaping influences in their children’s lives, some common mistakes are made. Some view these shaping influences as deterministic. Parents simply believe that the influences cannot be avoided and make excuses for them. Your child may have a learning disability, but that is not an excuse for a lack of self-discipline or laziness. You and your child may come from a hard background. That is not an excuse to repeat sin. We cannot afford to ingrain into our children a victim mentality. Instead, we should see these challenges as obstacles to overcome, not excuses to be made.

Some parents ignore the shaping influences in their children. They simply go with the flow and pay little to no attention to the things impacting their children. They don’t discipline when their children are toddlers and are shocked when they turn into little demons. They give unfettered access to technology and are shocked when their children are influenced by perversion. Biblical parents intentionally interact with the shaping influences in their children’s lives.

Other parents, out of fear, isolate their children from all outside influences. The only outings are to family members. The only friends are cousins. Many Christian parents adopt this idea that if they can protect and shelter their kids well enough, if they can always be positive with them, if they can provide the best possible childhood experience, then their child will turn out ok. Proper environment equals proper child. This is simply a spiritual twist on a bad philosophy. Inevitably, these children end up either incapable of interacting with others or jump into the deep end of culture and ruin their lives. Insulate your children from sin, but don’t isolate them from the world (John 17:15).

Children are never passive receivers of shaping influences. They are active responders. So it is vital that we, as parents, seek to help them respond biblically to the shaping influences in their lives. See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. (Colossians 2:8)

I believe that a primary reason society today frowns on discipline is that it is most often applied incorrectly. Many parents fail to discipline intentionally and instead react. As a result, their discipline is haphazard, marked by emotion, and without true purpose. It is no wonder then that the relationship between those parents and their children becomes fractured and hostile. Unfortunately, many Christian parents fall into this same trap. Yet, if parents think intentionally and biblically about discipline, the result is wise children who fear the Lord. How then should we discipline?

The driving force behind biblical discipline is the goal of our children fearing the Lord. We must remember then that the discipline does not take place because they wronged, embarrassed, inconvenienced, or irritated us. When parents discipline for these reasons, they unwittingly reinforce the sin committed. The parent declares to the child that they are being punished because life is about the parent, and the child failed to remember that. In turn, it informs the child that, as they have the opportunity, they should make life about themselves. Instead, the goal of discipline is to remind the child that life is all about God’s glory. As a result, Biblical discipline involves 5 aspects.

First, the parent should never discipline the child in anger. Situations often arise in which the child’s sin impacts the parent and raises an emotional response. However, disciplining out of anger only hardens the child’s heart. Scripture commands parents not to exasperate their children (or, as the KJV states, “provoke them to wrath” Ephesians 6:4). When we do this, we discourage our children and cause them to stray from God (Colossians 3:21). Nothing but damage occurs when parents discipline in anger. Take a moment to bring your emotions under control, and then deal with the sin. Should you discipline in anger, it is vital that you humble yourself and seek your child’s forgiveness. Don’t excuse their sin, but don’t excuse your sin either. Instead, humbly acknowledge that you responded to their sin in a sinful way and ask them to forgive you. You will be amazed at the impact this can have on your relationship with your child.

Second, begin your discipline by pointing to the sin. Be clear with the child why they are being disciplined. You are seeking to drive the foolishness (sin) out of your child (Proverbs 22:15). My habit in disciplining my children was to begin by asking them why they were being disciplined. In this, I would help them name what they did wrong (i.e., took the toy away from the other child). But I would not stop there. My next question would be, “What does God call that?” The only answer is that God calls this sin. You see, with this practice, the parent removes any doubt that punishment is taking place because the parent is angry. Instead, the child is reminded that they have fallen short of God’s glory.

Third, point to the consequences of the sin. By this, I don’t mean the earthly consequences. Certainly, the earthly consequences are important. Relationships are broken, harm is done, trust is lost. However, the spiritual consequences are much greater. God’s wrath is upon that sin. To make the payment for that sin, Jesus died. At this point in the discipline process, I would ask my child, “What happened because you sinned?” The answer to this was that Jesus died. In this, the disobedient practice is elevated to the proper level. It is not an inconvenience or mistake. It is a sin that cost Jesus His life. Suddenly, taking the toy from the sibling is raised to a higher level. At this point, I would explain that the seriousness of their sin is why I needed to punish them. The goal is for them to learn to cease this behavior. Then I would go through with the punishment.

Fourth, as they spill their tears after being punished, you must point to the cross. What was the purpose of Jesus death on the cross? He took the penalty of our sin so that we would not have to suffer it. And he did this so that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21). Through the cross, we can be made new from the inside out. In this, we remind our children that forgiveness is available in Christ. They don’t have to sin anymore; Jesus can change them. This is the glorious message of the Gospel. For parents of children not yet redeemed, every discipline situation is an opportunity for you to lead them to the gospel once again. After your children are redeemed, every discipline situation is an opportunity to remind them of their salvation.

Finally, provide the opportunity for repentance, forgiveness, and restoration. 1 John 1:9 provides the glorious truth that God is faithful and just to forgive our sins when we repent of them. So, we should provide that opportunity to our children as well. I would often ask them what they thought they should do next. Sometimes it involved seeking others’ forgiveness if they had wronged them. It always meant that I gave them a hug, held them close, and told them that I loved them dearly. When discipline is enacted wrongly, it is abuse. But when discipline is enacted intentionally in a Biblical way, it is one of the strongest signs of love to your children.

God did not call you to be your child’s friend. God called you to be your child’s parent. This means that you will faithfully, intentionally, biblically discipline them. You will point them to God and the great message of the gospel in your discipline. And you will demonstrate that you love them because you care enough about their soul to hold them accountable for sin. So dear parent, be faithful in your discipline.

If you don’t know what you are aiming for, you cannot be successful. We have all met people floundering through life with no purpose or plan. Sadly, that can also be said of many parents. They have no purpose or plan for raising their children. As a result, they settle for survival, which leads to reactionary parenting (reacting to situations rather than intentionally guiding their children).

In this study, I have encouraged you to be an intentional parent. Understand the goal: Wise children. Proverbs 1:7 informs us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Thus, we can revise the goal: children who fear the Lord. Over the past few weeks, we have sought to help answer the question, “How do we get there?” Deuteronomy 6 teaches that this happens as we immerse our children in God’s Word. We follow Ephesians 4 and intentionally seek to disciple our children to put off the old man, renew their minds, and put on the new man made in righteousness and holiness. We seek a changed heart in our children (Mark 7:21, Luke 6:45).

I now want to return to a topic that I mentioned but did not address in detail as we looked through Ephesians 4. The primary way that we help our children put off the old man is through faithful discipline. A parent who refrains from disciplining their children is a parent who fails. When I speak of discipline, I mean the practice of training children to obey rules set by authority, using punishment to correct disobedience, so that the child learns to control their behavior.

There is a horrific trend among parents today labeled as “Gentle parenting.” This is a guise for weak and lazy parents to refrain from the hard work necessary to guide their children in righteousness and holiness. At its heart is the belief that your child is basically good. However, scripture strongly disagrees. Jeremiah 17:9 informs us that our hearts are deceitful and horrendously wicked. When we read Romans 3, we discover that we are described as wicked, unrighteous, spiritually blind, and completely depraved. As Christian parents, we must begin with the understanding that we are raising depraved sinners under God’s wrath. Further, the Psalmist informs us that we are born with a corrupt sin nature (Psalm 51:5, 58:3). The writer of Proverbs reminds us that foolishness is the default setting of every child (Proverbs 22:15).

Proverbs 22:15 also informs us that discipline (specifically, spanking) drives this foolishness out of the child. Again, there is a trend today to see discipline (specifically, spanking) as hurtful abuse. Certainly, taken too far and done in anger, it is abuse and is sin. However, done with the right heart and in the right way, it is a sign of love. Proverbs 13:24 reminds us that the parents who refrain from discipline actually hate their children. An illustration here may help us see this clearly. If you live on a busy street with heavy traffic, you must train your toddlers not to play in or run into the street. If you simply laugh it off and attempt to only “be their friend,” you are engaging in dangerous and abusive behavior. Love demands that you do all that is necessary to keep them out of harm’s way. This is the purpose of discipline. In fact, Proverbs 19:18 tells us that when you refrain from disciplining your child, you are condemning them to death.

Dear parent (particularly parents of young children), when you refrain from the rod and seek only to have a conversation with your child, you do them no favors. When you excuse their wicked behavior, you cease to be a parent. When you plead, beg, or bribe instead of demanding obedience to God-given authority, you actively encourage sin in your child’s life. Your engagement in “gentle parenting” is destroying your child. Over twenty years of ministry, I have lost count of the times when I spoke with parents struggling with their teenagers, confused about how they arrived at this point. Yet, no one else was confused. We all saw it coming and tried to warn them. They tried to be their child’s friend and failed as parents. Discipline your child while there is hope! This is a battle you cannot afford to lose!

Proverbs also informs us that discipline plays a vital role in saving our children (Proverbs 23:14-15). Along with God’s Commands (renewing our minds) and the teaching of God’s Word (putting on the new man), discipline is the way to lead our children to life. Your child will not learn that life is not about them without faithful discipline. And they cannot come to the gospel if they believe that life is about them and not about God’s glory.

Last week, we noted that intentionally discipling our children means helping them put off the old man. Putting off the old man begins with the birth of the new man in salvation. So, we must present the gospel to our children regularly, beginning immediately. After salvation, we train them that the cross demands their lives, a living sacrifice for God (Romans 12:1-2).

Intentional discipleship also means helping our children renew their minds. Even the minds of the most sheltered children are corrupted by sin. This world’s thinking and philosophies, pushed through music, movies, and social media, further ingrain this corruption. As a result, Ephesians 4 indicates that putting off the old man is not enough. Our children must also be renewed in their minds. Middle school boys picture this need in a unique way. For whatever reason, they become shower adverse. As they grow into men, they begin to smell like men. They sweat and stink. Far too many of them rectify this by changing their clothes and using an inordinate amount of body spray. Yet, we all know this only exacerbates the problem. These middle school boys, seeking to cover their stench with body spray, serve as a vivid picture of those who seek to put off the old man but don’t renew their minds. Like the middle school boys, they need a shower. Just this time, it is a shower for the mind.

Renewing our minds happens as we wash our minds with the Word of God (Ephesians 5:26). As parents, we must intentionally help our children renew their minds by regularly teaching them God’s Word. This is not something that God has left for the church or the youth pastor to do, but is a responsibility that He has placed squarely on the parents’ (specifically the father’s) shoulders. In Proverbs 1:8-10, we see a clear picture of a father teaching his son the wisdom of God’s Word. In Ephesians 6:4, God commands fathers not to exasperate their children, but instead to raise them by instructing them in God’s Word. Parents who do not intentionally spend time in God’s Word with their children should not be surprised when their children do not value God or His Word and are, therefore, marked by foolishness.

This intentional discipleship begins in the home. Without question, the best thing Heather and I did in raising our boys was to have a regular family Bible time, beginning when they were not even able to read themselves. One need not have a master’s degree in theology to pull this off. The resources available to parents today are plentiful. I will include a list of recommended resources at the end of this letter.

Intentional discipleship also involves a commitment to God’s people. Over and over, I am amazed at parents who do not prioritize the regular gathering of God’s people on Sunday, only to be shocked when their children show no interest in church. If you don’t prioritize God’s people, your children will not care about God’s people. Hebrews 10:19-25 reveals that regular church attendance is vital in raising godly children. Your children will survive not being on the club sports team that takes them all over the state on Sunday. Your children will not develop a passion for God if they are always away playing sports. Camping with the family is a good thing. Camping with the family every Sunday in the summer and being away from church sends the message to your children that God is not a priority in your family. Don’t be shocked when they don’t make God a priority in their life.

In short, intentional discipleship falls on the parents’ shoulders. You must bring God’s Word to them regularly. You must intentionally teach them the things of God. You must demonstrate that God is vital for wisdom. You must prioritize the gathering of God’s people. Without it, you cannot raise wise children who fear the Lord. Even if your children are almost out of the home, it is not too late to start these things!

Last week, we addressed the biblical goal in parenting. Our goal should be to raise children who fear the Lord so that they become wise. A key to developing wise children who fear the Lord is intention. Far too many parents raise their children with a reactionary philosophy rather than an intentional one. They have no goal, and so they have no plan. As a result, they simply end up reacting to everything that happens in their children’s lives. No wonder the children see their parents as hypocritical. No plan, only reaction, leads to emotional and inconsistent decisions.

We must intentionally disciple our children towards what we want them to learn. The reality is that someone is discipling your children. Either you are doing it intentionally towards God, or the world is discipling them towards futility. This is why God commanded the parents in Israel to intentionally instruct their children in His Word (Deuteronomy 6:1-2). If we want wise children, we must intentionally ground them in God’s Word, or the world will ground them in foolishness.

Another way that we describe the fear of the Lord is through the word “Christlike.” So it is correct to say that the goal of Christian discipleship (and therefore the goal of parenting) is Christlikeness. What does Christlikeness look like, and how do we get there? Galatians 5:16-24 reveals that this looks like the fruit of the Spirit. Ephesians 4:20-24 reveals that this is accomplished by putting off the old man, being renewed in our minds, and putting on the new man in the image of Christ.

Biblical parenting begins by teaching our children to put off the old man. This means that we must teach them the Gospel regularly. They cannot put off the old man while enslaved to him. A Christian parent’s prayer should be that their children understand and accept the Gospel. We cannot assume that they know it. We cannot assume that they believe it.

The Gospel is the good news of Christ. But the good news must begin with bad news. Christian parents must understand and accept that their child is born in sin and headed towards God’s wrath. They are not basically good. They are sinful. While rules and discipline can modify sinful behavior, they cannot change it. Only the Gospel corrects the problem. So good Christian parents must teach their children that they are sinful.

However, the Gospel is the good news that Christ took the punishment for their sin on the cross. They must give their lives to God, and He will give them Christ’s righteousness so that they go from being depraved to being righteous (Romans 10:9; 2 Corinthians 5:21). Going to church does not correct their sin problem. Only the Gospel can do it.

Let me finish this section with a caution. Children who grow up in church can be pressured to pray a “salvation prayer” so they fit in or to please their parents. We should guard against this. Ensure they understand the Gospel before affirming their acceptance of it. I did this by making them share the Gospel with me. You may have a better way to guard against this with your children. Whatever method you take, ensure they understand the Gospel.

We cannot raise children to fear the Lord if they don’t know the Lord. The first step, then, must be to present the Gospel to them regularly so that they accept it. Yet, the job does not stop when they accept the Gospel. We must continue to present the Gospel to them as we disciple them. Mark 8:34 reveals that to be Jesus’ disciple, we must deny ourselves, take up our cross daily, and follow Him. This means that as we disciple our children after salvation, we are reminding them that they also must take up the cross daily and die to self.

The Gospel means that we give our lives to Christ and follow Him because He died for us. So, in our regular conversations throughout our children’s lives, we must remind them of the gospel. We don’t act like the world because Christ died for us. We don’t speak like the world because Christ died for us. We live in a way that is very distinct from the world because Christ died for us. In short, we put off the old man (we say no to sin and wrong) because Christ died for us.

We have been blessed in our church with a number of children. We have been particularly blessed in the past two years with the number of new babies. Being a parent is one of God’s greatest blessings. I will never forget holding my son for the first time 19 years ago and feeling the combination of absolute love and terror. Now, as I near the end of my children being at home full-time and look across the large number of children in our congregation, I feel it is important to address what the Bible says about being a good parent. Over the next few weeks, we will examine the instructions the Bible gives to us as parents. My goal with this series is to help you understand what God expects of you so that your children will flourish in their walk with God.

We must understand our goal in parenting. If we do not know what we are aiming at, we have very little chance of success. Further, the challenge is heightened by particular circumstances in our world today. The prevalence and ease of communication with everyone brings our children into contact with harmful elements from which we would otherwise be able to protect them. The overwhelming volume of information causes confusion in our children that would not have happened in previous generations. And the entertainment specifically designed to capture our children’s attention and cause dependence presents a challenge. All of these challenges are compounded by the fact that the parents of our children’s friends don’t seem to care about them.

What is your goal with your children? Is it that they gain knowledge so that they will have a good job when they become adults? Is it that they gain notoriety and fame with their gifts and abilities? Is it that all their dreams will come true? Is it that they will stay out of trouble and become “responsible” adults? Is it to see your children survive to adulthood with minimal trouble (It would be even better if they chose to stick close to us as adults)? Maybe you have not given the goal any thought, and you are simply trying to survive. Yet, if any of these are your goals, then you have failed as parents. I would propose a new goal to you. Biblically, if we want to raise wise children, our goal is for them to learn to fear God.

Over two decades of ministry, I have found that the hardest event to get people to attend is the prayer gathering (prayer services or pre-service prayer meetings). I have no doubt that this aligns with the struggles most Christians face in their personal prayer lives. Over the next few weeks, I would like to examine the myriad of reasons that we struggle to pray and conclude with the encouraging reasons why God loves to answer prayer.

Speaking with Christians, we sometimes struggle to pray because we do not value prayer. Because we can feel as though we are speaking into the ether, we don’t see the importance of prayer. It feels like we aren’t doing something. We feel it is much better to take action and attempt to deal with life and its difficulties on our own. We fail to recognize the power that we tap into when we pray. The God of the universe delights in responding to our prayers. When I attempt to deal with life and its problems on my own, I quickly discover that I can control very little. Prayer connects us with the One who controls all.

Sometimes we don’t pray because we know that we are struggling with sin. We feel as though God will not listen to us because of our struggle. This is both a correct and an incorrect sentiment. If we willingly continue in sin, love it, and give ourselves to it, Psalm 66:18 informs us that God will not listen to our prayers. 1 Peter 3:12 informs husbands that their prayers will be hindered if they do not love and treat their wives as God calls them to do. If you willingly live in sin, you will not pray. And if you do pray, God will not listen. However, if you are battling sin, fighting to overcome it, God longs to hear your prayers. 1 John 1:9 reminds us that it is right for God to forgive us. You will never be qualified in and of yourself to pray. If you wait until you have completely overcome sin to pray, you will never pray. Instead, recognize Christ’s forgiveness and come to God in prayer.

Have you ever started praying but did not know what to say? Perhaps this is one of the reasons that we do not pray as often as we should. We do not know how to pray. Thankfully, Jesus instructed us with a pattern to follow. As we look at this pattern, we should note that it is a pattern, not magic words. Jesus tells us to pray in this way, not pray these words. Although praying the very words is not a bad idea at all.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives us a pattern for prayer. This pattern is contained for us in Matthew 6:9-13 – 9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” This prayer provides us with a good pattern to follow.

First, Jesus opens the prayer with praise to God. The phrase “hallowed be your name” carries the idea of God’s holiness and supremacy. It is a good practice to begin our prayer by declaring the attributes of God that mean much to us at that time. We can rehearse God’s sovereignty, majesty, goodness, love, mercy, justice, righteousness, and so much more. When we do this, it reminds us of several things. First, it reminds us that God is to be honored. He is not some other human that we are talking to. Second, it reminds us that God is in control and cares for us. This allows us to be open with Him in prayer.

Second, Jesus reminds Himself of His eternal purpose. He prays that God’s Kingdom would come. This statement reminds us that our lives are about much more than the present. Often, when we come in prayer, we are consumed with the problems and challenges of the present. When we pray that God’s Kingdom would come, we are reminded that we serve an Eternal Kingdom. This world is just a blip on the radar.

Third, Jesus aligns Himself with God’s will. Sadly, our prayers are often consumed with our wants and desires. We measure God’s answer by how it aligns with what we think He should do. We insist that our thoughts are the best thoughts and our ways are the best ways. But we must align ourselves with God’s will. So, as we pray, we should say something to the effect of, “God, help me to know your will in this situation and to follow it.”

Fourth, Jesus turns to requests for needs. Only after His vision has been aligned with God does he turn to the present needs. Yet, it is right to ask for our present needs. We should rely on God for our daily needs. 1 Peter 5:7 encourages us to throw our anxieties on God because He cares for us. Don’t be ashamed to cry to God for your needs.

Fifth, Jesus recognizes that we will need forgiveness. We are to ask God to forgive our sins. However, there is a caveat. We must also forgive those who sin against us. If we hold grudges and harbor a spirit of bitterness, we cannot expect God to forgive our sins. We receive and give forgiveness.

Finally, we ask God to help us stay out of sin. With this, we are reminded that God will not put us into a place of temptation from which we cannot escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). We don’t have to sin. Ask God to help lead us away from temptation and to keep us from evil. Have you prayed about that sin you are struggling with?

When you pray, there is a pattern you can and should follow: Praise God for who He is, align yourself with your eternal purpose, seek and submit to God’s will, make your requests, seek forgiveness, and request deliverance. With this pattern, you will discover that prayer becomes much easier. Let us be a people of prayer.

Prayer is most likely an area of struggle in all our lives. We know we should, but we struggle. Yet instead of guilting ourselves into prayer, I believe we would have greater success if we recognized what prayer is. Prayer is a conversation with our Father. Luke 11 contains an interesting interaction between Jesus and His disciples regarding prayer. As this conversation ensues, Jesus reveals that the secret to prayer is understanding that it is a conversation with our Father.

The chapter opens with Jesus praying. Apparently, His prayer was powerful, and the disciples took note. As a result, they asked Jesus to teach them to pray. He begins by telling them to pray a shortened edition of the prayer He taught the crowds in the Sermon on the Mount. In this, He reminds the disciples that they are praying to a sovereign God. Only when we surrender to His sovereignty can we begin to pray. Many of us stop at this point and feel overwhelmed. Perhaps this is why we cease to pray.

However, Jesus did not stop His lesson. He tells the story of a friend who won’t stop asking for help. In that time period, homes were typically one-room. At night, the furniture was cleared to a corner, and the family lay out their beds in front of the fire for warmth. At this point in Jesus’ story, a knock sounds at the door. The family hears their friend’s voice asking for bread. Annoyed, the father replies that the friend should return in the morning. Everyone is in bed, and the food is put away. Yet, the friend persists. In the end, because he is a friend, the door is opened, the furniture is moved, and the bread is obtained. The moral of the story is not yet shown. For we are not simply friends of God.

Jesus tells his disciples to seek God, knock at the door, and ask for their requests. But not because you are friends. Instead, because you are children. Jesus asks, “What Father will give his child a serpent when he asks for a fish, or a scorpion when he asks for an egg?” Of course, the father will give the child whatever they need. When we recognize this, we get the moral of the story. If a father will give the annoying friend bread, how much more will he give his children the things that they desire?

We are God’s children. It is not an imposition for us to come to Him. It is God’s delight that His children interact with Him in prayer. He loves to meet our needs and our requests. We often struggle in prayer because we view God incorrectly. When we see Him as our loving Father, we will run to Him, and He will delight in responding to us. Your Father wants to talk to you. So go to Him in prayer and find grace and joy!