We can quickly identify people who are not from Michigan (I raise my hand as one of them). Certain tells give them away. The way they pronounce Ypsilanti, Mackinac, Charlotte, and elementary. They don’t appreciate Vernors as a heal-all beverage. And they certainly don’t understand what cold really means. When you grow up here, you are impacted by the culture around you. Yet, as we raise our children, we must come to understand that there are many shaping influences around them. Biblical parents seek to use these shaping influences to help produce wise children who fear the Lord (Proverbs 13:20).

There are a variety of shaping influences in a child’s life. Some you can control, and others you cannot. Family structure plays an important role in a child’s life. Studies have shown that children who grow up without a father are exponentially more likely to end up in the criminal justice system. How parents treat one another influences how children will treat their own spouse one day. Only children naturally struggle to serve others and to interact selflessly.

Family values also play a role. Children tend to grow up loving what their parents love. It is no mystery why sports fans raise sports fans, hunters raise hunters, mechanics raise mechanics, and musicians raise musicians. In the same way, parents who are passionate about God should impact their children for God. Parents who view church as an appendage to their life should not be surprised when their children do not value God.

Authorities’ response to failure is to inform their children how to respond to failure. When a parent fails and seeks handouts in return, the child will, too. When a parent quits and gives up, so will the child. When a parent acknowledges failure and moves forward, children tend to become hardworking problem solvers as well. Your children are watching your response to hardship.

Culture and friends also shape your children. As I stated before, certain things will happen in your children’s lives because they were raised in the Northern Midwest. Friends will impact your children for good or ill. This is a topic we will cover in detail next week. Right now, I will say, pay close attention to your children’s friends.

As parents consider the shaping influences in their children’s lives, some common mistakes are made. Some view these shaping influences as deterministic. Parents simply believe that the influences cannot be avoided and make excuses for them. Your child may have a learning disability, but that is not an excuse for a lack of self-discipline or laziness. You and your child may come from a hard background. That is not an excuse to repeat sin. We cannot afford to ingrain into our children a victim mentality. Instead, we should see these challenges as obstacles to overcome, not excuses to be made.

Some parents ignore the shaping influences in their children. They simply go with the flow and pay little to no attention to the things impacting their children. They don’t discipline when their children are toddlers and are shocked when they turn into little demons. They give unfettered access to technology and are shocked when their children are influenced by perversion. Biblical parents intentionally interact with the shaping influences in their children’s lives.

Other parents, out of fear, isolate their children from all outside influences. The only outings are to family members. The only friends are cousins. Many Christian parents adopt this idea that if they can protect and shelter their kids well enough, if they can always be positive with them, if they can provide the best possible childhood experience, then their child will turn out ok. Proper environment equals proper child. This is simply a spiritual twist on a bad philosophy. Inevitably, these children end up either incapable of interacting with others or jump into the deep end of culture and ruin their lives. Insulate your children from sin, but don’t isolate them from the world (John 17:15).

Children are never passive receivers of shaping influences. They are active responders. So it is vital that we, as parents, seek to help them respond biblically to the shaping influences in their lives. See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. (Colossians 2:8)