One of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies is the sham marriage scene in The Princess Bride. In this scene, Prince Humperdinck is attempting to force Buttercup to marry him. Standing before the minister, the minister calls marriage “That dream within a dream.” But many today would argue with that statement. They don’t see marriage as a dream but as unnecessary. And some in marriage see it as a nightmare. But indeed, God meant for marriage to be that dream. It was the first institution created by God for humanity’s great good. Yet, to thrive in our own marriages and to defend marriage today, we must understand its purpose. It is more than simply a piece of paper. It is more than a contract. It is a vow before God to enter into this institution that He created for specific purposes. Thankfully, Scripture is very clear on the purpose of marriage.
When God first instituted marriage, He gave us the first two reasons for marriage. The first reason is found in Genesis 1:28. When God blesses Adam and Eve, He commanded them to be fruitful and multiply. In other words, a primary purpose of marriage is for the creation of and raising of children. Certainly, today, the argument is made that marriage is unnecessary for children. Yet, only the willfully obtuse will argue with the numerous studies that have shown the necessity of the nuclear family (Dad, Mom, Children). Children raised in a fatherless home are exponentially more likely to end up in jail. Dads teach their boys how to be responsible men and how to control their strength for the betterment of others. Dads teach their daughters to expect men to treat them with respect and protection. Children raised without their mothers are exponentially more likely to become hard and indifferent. Mothers teach their children selfless compassion and love.
There is also a trend today to push back on having children. These couples pursue their own career goals over children. This is selfishness at the core and foolishness at the surface. It is foolish because these couples deny the blessings, joys, and lessons that children bring. It is selfishness at the core because it views themselves as the center of life and refuses to give for others (specifically their own children). They deny a core purpose of marriage and sit in opposition to God.
The second purpose of marriage is found in Genesis 2:18 and 23. Marriage was created for perfect companionship. When God created the world, He looked on all that He created and stated that it was very good. However, one thing was not good. Adam was alone and needed a helper who was perfectly suited to him. What is fascinating is that God did not create another “Bro.” Instead, God created the perfect other. One who completed him in every way (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). Only in marriage will you find that perfect companionship. Only when that vow before God is made is that companionship complete.
The final purpose of marriage is not revealed until the New Testament, but it is the most important. In Ephesians 5:22-33, we discover that the primary purpose of marriage is to picture the gospel. Your marriage is to reflect and demonstrate God’s love for us. This will play a vital role in our discussions moving forward as we discuss each partner’s role in marriage.
Marriage is intended to be a permanent institution for good. It is not an optional thing for a couple to take or leave. Nor is it a flexible thing for society to redefine. God created marriage for the distinct purposes of the nuclear family so that children would be raised in stability for the good of all society. God created marriage because we all need that perfect companionship to complete us. And God created marriage ultimately to illustrate His love for us. So, we must value and defend marriage.