To help our children develop godly friendships, it is helpful to understand what a godly friendship looks like. To this end, we will look at the friendship between David and Jonathan. It would be helpful if you could take a moment to read 1 Samuel 23. Saul recognizes the threat that David presents to his rule. So, Saul begins to seek to kill David. Jonathan has a choice. He can preserve his future throne or side with David.

From this friendship, we learn four characteristics of godly friendships. First, a godly friend is the one who seeks to meet the other’s needs, not the one who demands to have their own needs met. Jonathan chose to meet David’s needs rather than preserve his throne. He intentionally sought David while he was in hiding to help him. David could do nothing for Jonathan in return.

Second, a godly friend encourages his friend in God. When Jonathan found David, he strengthened his hand in God. Godly friends direct your attention to God. They speak of God often, present the Bible to you, remind you of all that God does, and confront your sin. Godly friends help you grow in your relationship with God.

Third, godly friends are committed to helping each other realize God’s purpose and potential in their lives. Jonathan was content to submit to God’s plan for Israel, even though this meant that he would not be King. As David’s friend, he was devoted to seeing David become King. In like fashion, David did not see Jonathan as a threat but desired that Jonathan be his second-in-command. Only a friendship that was built on seeking God’s best would want this arrangement.

Fourth, a godly friendship involves a declared loyalty and commitment. Before they departed, they made a covenant with one another. They would remain loyal to one another and would care for one another’s families. Even when others demeaned and degraded their friend, they would remain loyal. As Proverbs tells us, “A friend loves at all times.” A friend does not just love when it is convenient. They are happy to proclaim their friendship.

This is the kind of friendship that we should desire for our children. It begins with us demonstrating that kind of friendship. The church is filled with people who should, can, and do emulate this kind of friendship. Next week, we will discuss how to develop these kinds of relationships.